


Panic Attack

by AutisticWriter



Series: Mental Illness Headcanons [13]
Category: Harry & Paul (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hugs, M/M, Mental Health Issues, One Shot, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-08-23 18:59:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8339053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutisticWriter/pseuds/AutisticWriter
Summary: It is no great surprise to Bryan that Ken has anxiety issues. But he is still left feeling out of his depth after Ken has a panic attack in front of him for the first time.





	

As they drove along the duel carriageway on their way to their first ever appearance on _Dragon’s Den_ , Bryan and Ken were both nervous. Well, Bryan was nervous, but he was certain that Ken was much more worried than he was. He wasn’t sure if it was the way Ken was slumped in his seat, or that he had huge sweat marks under his arms, or that he was breathing a bit too fast, or that he was visibly shaking, but _something_ about his behaviour told Bryan he was nervous. He was being sarcastic, of course; he knew for a fact that Ken was always nervous.

Bryan’s partner had been diagnosed with anxiety when he was younger, and he was prone to panic attacks when he was especially nervous. Bryan had never seen Ken having a panic attack, but Ken had told him all about them; they sounded horrible. And Bryan had a feeling that auditioning for a TV programme that might get them humiliated on national TV was definitely an occasion to be especially nervous.

“You all right, Ken?” He asked, glancing at Ken’s sweaty face out of the corner of his eye.

“Think so, yeah,” Ken mumbled, breathing even faster. Bryan raised his eyebrows, but didn’t say anything.

Over the next few minutes, Bryan came to the disturbing realisation that Ken’s breathing was faster than he had ever heard it before. His breaths were starting to sound more like gasps, and he sounded terrified. Bryan wondered if he was having one of his panic attacks, and he felt a bit sick, because if he was, then he had no idea what the hell to do to help.

“Calm down, Ken, please, it’s all right,” he babbled, not knowing if his words were helping, but not knowing what else to say.

“I... can’t,” Ken gasped, sounding like he was crying – although it was hard to hear anything over his rapid breaths.

Bryan risked a glance at Ken, and saw how pale and terrified he looked. The sight made his chest hurt, and he sighed. He knew he should comfort Ken, but he couldn’t do that while he was driving.

“Right, I’m, I’m pulling over, Ken,” he said, straining his eyes to look for a lay-by in the distance.

“Th-Thank you,” Ken mumbled, his voice shaking.

Thankfully, Bryan spotted a lay-by in the near distance, and, as soon as he could, pulled the car into it. As quickly as he could, he got out of the car and rushed around it to open Ken’s door. His partner was leaning forwards in his seat, gasping for breath and sobbing, his stiff-looking hands pressed against his chest.

“Ken?” Bryan said cautiously, not sure what to do. “Should I get you out?”

Ken nodded, tears dribbling down his face. With some apprehension, Bryan grabbed Ken by the arms and helped him to his feet. Ken stumbled, wobbling, and Bryan lowered him to the ground before he fell. Then he kneeled down on the gravel covered concrete beside Ken and looked at him.

Ken was hunched forwards on his knees like he was about to throw up, still gasping for breath, still sobbing, his stiff hands held out in front of him. His hair was stuck to his forehead with sweat, and his shirt was soaking wet to the touch. More tears spilled down his face as he took rapid, jagged breaths. He swayed from side to side, and Bryan wondered if he was dizzy. Bryan wrapped his arms around Ken, and Ken slumped against him, sobbing pathetically.

“Sc-Scared,” Ken cried, leaning his sweat soaked hair against Bryan’s chin.

“I know, mate, I know,” Bryan mumbled again and again, but he wished he knew how to stop Ken feeling so bloody scared. He hated this. Why hadn’t Ken told him how to help him through a panic attack? Why hadn’t he actually done some bloody research to know what he was supposed to do? “But you’re all right. You’re with me.”

Bryan wondered if he could try to get Ken to control his breathing. He thought of what he’d seen Ken doing when he was a bit stressed: Ken would breathe in, hold it for five seconds, and then exhale. Maybe that would help.

“Ken, I need you to try and do your breathing thingy, all right? You know, breathe in, hold for five seconds, breathe out. All right?”

“Uh-huh,” Ken stammered, nodding his head.

“All right then. So, breathe in—” Ken took in the deepest breath he could manage, held it for five seconds, and then exhaled slowly and shakily. “That’s great, Ken. And again.”

They repeated the breathing exercise again and again, and Bryan was relieved to find it helping. Over the next ten minutes or so, Ken calmed down, his breathing getting more and more normal. He was still trembling violently, but he looked much better now Bryan was no longer worried about him fainting. Ken slumped backwards against the car, breathing heavily, looking so sweaty and tired he could have just run a marathon. He wiped his eyes on his cuffs, and sighed.

Bryan shuffled backwards so he was sitting right next to Ken, letting Ken lean his head against his, putting his arm around Ken’s shoulders. His shirt was still drenched in sweat, and Bryan could tell he had damp patches on his own shirt.

“You feeling better now?” He asked, keeping his voice soft.

“Y-Yeah,” Ken said weakly. “Fingers st-still feel all tingly, but, ‘part from that, yeah, I am.”

Bryan smiled, pleased he was feeling better. He knew what Ken meant when he mentioned having tingling fingers: when someone hyperventilated, it could make their fingers tingle or even go numb.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better now, mate,” he said, really meaning it.

“Thanks,” Ken mumbled. He smiled at him, and Bryan grinned back. “Thanks for looking a-after me.”

“No problem, mate. Did I do all right?”

“You d-did great,” Ken said.

“Well, then, if you feel up to it,” Bryan said. “Should we get back in the car?”

Ken nodded. “Think so, yeah.”

\---

Almost as soon as they were back in the car, Ken rested his head against the window and fell asleep. Bryan smiled fondly and brushed his sweaty hair off of his forehead. As he got the car back on the road, Bryan was just so relieved that he’d been able to help Ken through his panic attack. And he also hoped that Ken would never have one again.


End file.
